The Life and Times of Joel Prush

Someone asked me if I'd ever truly known who I was.  I've felt for years, confused, misled and uncertain.  These days, I'm more confident than ever in who I am. No facades, no attempts to please or satisfy another - I'm Jordan Eastman, and don't really care what you think of it.  I'm 24 years old. I'm a runaway musician with giant dreams, stubborn determination, and a will stronger than all creation. Despite doubts, fears, and cynicism - I am a Christian. I'm flawed, restless, analytical and hesitant to believe without proof. I love music. I'm a writer. I am an artist. I have 12 tattoos, like Katy Perry, Audrey Hepburn, and smoke a pipe on the regular. I'm dark - but not hopeless. I cry. I make people cry.  I break things that were perfect, to build something else less flawless with the pieces and hang them up somewhere. I want things. I feel tense with too much structure. I can sew, cook, and touch my head to the ground by doing a back bend. My brothers call me Joel Prush. I hate arrogance nearly as much as poor songwriting and want to defend people I trust. I drink 4-5 litres of Dr Pepper a day and used to feel afraid of everything. It's hard for me to let things go. Nothing really scares me, anymore. There are sides of me I've never shown and things I've never spoken of. I live in Nashville, TN.  I can't say, "I love you" - but deeply love things - just not very many; and only the well deserved.  I have the greatest family in existence. I have incredible friends and support beyond measure. I'm not good at trusting. My Dad is the strongest man alive. I am blessed. I'm over critical, but feel like perfection is faux reality. I hate good singers, climb everything, and, chances are, if you give me something, I'm going to make something else out of it. I'm direct to a point of offensiveness. I will talk about anything and few things make me uncomfortable. I am happy. My favorite song in the whole dark, world is "If I Had a Boat" by Lyle Lovett. Tomorrow makes me smile and yesterday is a bit exaggerated. Don't ask me what my songs are about. I kick boxes and shake everything in stores to see what kind of sound they make. I'm colorblind. I can convince you of anything. I want to help people and have caused more hurt than imaginable. There are still two songs that bring back things I don't want to visit. I'll leave the room when they begin. I live on $7 a day. I am far from innocent. I'm forgiven and some people still won't talk to me. I've been in love twice. I'm not in love now. I have scars on my knuckles. Most of my friends are girls. I hate co-writing because I feel like I'm better at it than you. I play 26 instruments. I've read 6 dictionaries, 3 thesauruses, and 2 encyclopedia sets cover to cover. I use words people don't know and make jokes that no-one understands. I don't shut up sometimes. I'm a performer, I'm a realist, and tell stories about the un-reality I desire. I lied to everyone for years. I'm finally honest. I don't need anyone else. I want to know things and am way older than my age. I'm better now...or at least working on it...