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Monday, June 6, 2011

I Feel Sick to My Stomach...

I woke up at 5am with a pounding headache and a bizarre feeling in my chest. I think I might have eaten sand paper in my sleep because my throat is raw as sushi. I feel kind of dizzy. I don't really feel like writing this anymore. Something is wrong with my housetruck and my horn goes off randomly. It's absolutely hilarious because it not only scares everyone in the surrounding area, I also get to join in the terrification as I never know when it's going to occur. One time it stayed on for 2-3 minutes. People were flicking me off the whole time. I'd just wave back. I went to Joseph's birthday party the other night. It was a good time. There were fire dancers and we played music. I got hit on pretty bad three chicks who were arguing over who I should go home with. I ended up going home with the Walmart on Dikerson Pike and writing a song about it. It's weird to me how society views a male who is sexually active with numerous partners as successful and people seem strangely proud of him. However, when a girl does the same thing, she's considered a trashy whore. No wonder our society is in shambles. Why should it be considered normal for a guy to perpetually offer himself out there and leave the girls, unprotected, and on the defensive? If you don't give yourself away you're mocked as a pious prude and if you do you're a slut. I don't get it. Whatever happened to relationship? It's weird, I was at a movie the other night with two amazing girls and got a text from someone I've known for years. As soon as I saw the name I smiled and got excited. What the heck was that? I felt like an insecure middle-schooler passing a teenage crush in the hall and making eye contact for the first time. It was the weirdest thing. Turns out she only needed something and doesn't really care that I'm alive, but it made me think; what makes me more excited to hear from her than to be with two super cool, attractive broads in person? How did she get that magnetism? What causes emotion like that? Isn't emotion optional? Well, I guess the reaction, at least, is optional. It made me happy, though, knowing I still haven't shut myself off. I've worked hard this past year to ensure that I didn't become despondent and emotionally aloof after everything I went through. I'm glad I still have a sense of sensitivity. I guess it opened me up. I used to never let on how I felt about anything. Now I'm writing exaggerated stream of consciousness in a freaking blog that anybody and their mother can read. Most of it is through the roof, blatant sarcasm expressed in the exact opposite emotion I'm really feeling though; so I guess that keeps me safe and keeps people from really knowing me. There's still a wall there. I realized I have zero talent for throwing a frisbee yesterday. I'm pretty sure both Caroline and I lost half our body weight running after each other's godawful throws. One cool thing, though. While we were walking this bird kamikaze dived straight into the ground and killed himself (see picture). I just threw up the spaghetti we made last night. I guess I'm getting sick. My throat is killing me. I'm going to walk to Panera and get some hot tea and honey. I'll finish this over there [15 mins later] the CMA's start thursday here in Nashville and the amount of cowboy hats is unbearable. Broadway is blocked off and there are tour buses everywhere. This weekend is going to be amazing. I actually had an alert go off in my phone this morning telling me not to plan anything for this weekend because I can make so much money playing outside of the Bridgestone Arena that it would be stupid to not take advantage of it. I shouldn't have walked here. Now I have to walk all the way back to my truck. I didn't think this one through very well. I can't believe it's taken me over an hour and two locations to write this blog that really has no real significance whatsoever...

1 comment:

Jesse Owen said...

I've often wondered about that feeling you get when you see someone's name attached to the text you just received. Your breath catches in your throat, or you get a goofy smile that confuses the people around you. Sadly, it is true. No one knows that anyone else exists anymore. Here's a question for you: Who get's that feeling when you text them?