We grew up far too fast. I sewed red buttons onto my favorite black shirt this morning. I had to cut off the black ones you'd sewn on a year ago to replace them. Funny how that works. Circles, circles, circles. I played a show in a flowerbed. Somehow I ended up playing said horrible experience at a motorcycle expo-esque situation before a few hundred non-musical bikers who didn't really realize I was there. I'm amazed at how much dust one creates when stomping a tambourine atop a pile of mulch in a freshly fertilized oleander garden. By the time I left, my pants were covered in dirt, my face was black and I was coughing up dust and spitting out inhaled poison. It was flawless. I'm convinced that there is nothing better than performing outlaw folk atop a pile of dirt in the baking southern sunset for 300+ bearded men and lesbians who are completely unaware of your existence. Other than the fact that I'm probably asthmatic now and lost 10 years of my life due to the toxic invasion on my lungs, I'm pretty sure that's what heaven will be like...only with a bit more responsive crowd and fewer lesbians. This week has been eventful. Friday's show went well, other than the fact that they told me I was too loud then the band that played after me had a drummer and two 212 cabs blaring. That was stupid. On an amazing note, everything I've been working on in the last few months finally made sense to me today. Out of nowhere, I received an email this morning from someone I've never met informing me that my music gave her hope to stand through her current crumbling situations and forced her to build a new perspective of living. Unlike others who've perceived my songs of death and brokenness as being dark or cynical, she grasped the hope and positivity behind it all. "Life isn't permanent." she said, "hearing you talk of death as means to life and emptiness only as something able to be filled forced me to realize that no matter what life throws my way I'll be fine. You expressed such joy thorough sorrow and made dark situations seem laughable and trivial to the point that I realized that nothing in this life matters and this is just a rest stop on our way to somewhere far far better. Like you say, we'll all be eaten by worms anyway (or something like that lol)." All I really want to do is express sincerity, honesty and hope through my work and as everything I've put together the past year has been a monstrous journal entry interpreting my life from an autobiographical perspective, I've come to realize that the only way to be sincere is to truly experienced the things you're talking about. It came together for me. Sharity, whoever you are, thank you. Tonight's been a weird one. For some reason my mind keeps going all over the place. Maybe it's on vacation. I'm a mind tourist of sorts. I'm flying to Florida in a few weeks and want nothing more than to be there now. I'm kind of worried that I won't ever come back....
...I really like the red buttons on this shirt...
...and this time nobody else's opinion really matters...
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