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Friday, February 24, 2012

Homeward Tennessee

Charlotte feels like a prison cell. I was hoping to leave tonight but I had a full set list of time to do before I was released and didn't feel much like driving afterwards. All day felt strange. It's been one of those apathetic days where all I want to do is stay away from everybody, lock myself away somewhere and not talk to anyone. I feel shy around everyone and answer questions with a timid smile and a nod. I had to play the show but I didn't feel much like performing. It went alright, I guess. It kind of felt more like an 8 hour work day than anything else. A half empty room and a cramped stage typically make for a decent show; but not tonight. Tonight felt stagnant. The room was smokey and the hipster elitists made every song feel like it was being broken down, inspected and thrown away. Nothing hit home. One couple sat, watching intently, while the rest of the room went on about their business as if I was a jukebox tucked away in a corner somewhere. I'd play my songs, they'd realize I stopped, half-way clap, and it would all start over. I wanted nothing more than for Rickey to run out of the corner, jump up on stage and play the show with me. Maybe then it wouldn't matter and we'd have fun anyway. I don't mind playing for small crowds. I love it. I'll play to a room. I'll play to anything. I'll play to nothing...just not tonight. Tonight I just want to leave. I wound up playing a short set and getting out early on good behavior. I wrapped up and left with some change from the door and a couple doughnuts from behind the bar. I just wanted to be alone. I wanted to shut everybody out. I got to some obscure place, pulled back the curtain on my truck and unpacked my guitar. My phone rang a couple times. I ignored it. I didn't want to talk to anybody. I could hear sirens in the distance; they served as the only reminder that there was anything at all beyond the black curtain that separated me from the rest of the world. Other than that it was just me. We're caught up with time now. I'm sitting here. Typing away on an out-dated cellphone and clutching this guitar like a life-ring in some kind of vast ocean of apathy. My doughnuts are gone. I can't stop coughing and eat coughdrops like candy. There are no sirens anymore. Everything is quiet. Utter silence. I'll probably be up awhile. I'm going home in the morning. Home - there's a term for you. I'm only going there so I can pack up and leave again. I'm happiest here - alone in some parking lot in some city I can't pronounce. I'm home right now. Home - I like that.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

You Play the Washboard and I'll Play the Broads

New York, New York. The metropolitan mother-ship of the USA. Nothing even comes close. Screaming car horns, flashing lights, looming towers and nearly nine million sleepless residents fill the city from street to street. Existence at its finest. It was this constant display of endless motion that was still running through my head when I arrived in Purcellville, VA. There's a change. After a bit of research, I learned that more people work in the Empire State Building then reside in Purcellville. However, this is where my brother lives - so this is where I found myself. It didn't matter. It was good to see him again...it was good to sleep in a bed again. It was good to take a shower again. I think my socks were molded to my feet. I was kind of scared to take them off. I'm sure they could have stood on their own. Since Rickey was playing washboard and guitar with me that night, a bunch of Patrick Henry students came out to the DC show and created a super fun, high-energy, performance that I'll remember for awhile. Not to mention playing with Rick again was amazing. We played, and sang, and stomped, and danced to our heart's content until the whole little upstairs room had broken into a roaring, spinning, swing dance party. At one point, I was playing "Who Cries Over Dead Spiders?" when Rickey jumped out into the crowd and broke into a whole dance routine with some classmates. So Rick could leave early, we got moved from headlining to a 10pm spot. When we got done, the final act (who was supposed to play before us) made it extremely clear that they didn't even want to play because they knew they couldn't compete with our energy and performance enough to try to follow us. We were all smiles. I've had bands scheduled to follow me walk out without playing before. I'm really glad these guys still went on because they turned out to be one of the best bands I've played with this whole trip. Such a good time and such a good band. (check out Dan Wolff when you get a chance) I wish Rickey could be with me every night. We'd never have a bad show and we'd make so much money. It was good to see my parents while I was in VA as well. Mikelle finally got her dog. He's kind of invasive but seems cool enough. If you make fun of him she'll stab you in the liver. She's a liver stabber.

I hit the 3500 mile mark today. 3500 miles in 15 days. I still have another 18 days and 2500+ miles to drive before the tour is over. Unless I keep going. I added some more show dates and hope to keep moving 'till I can't anymore. Maybe I'll settle in Phoenix for awhile. Maybe New Mexico...
It strange, there's something about driving all over the country that requires monstrous amounts of gasoline. I'll never understand it. See, it's about a 6 1/2 hour drive from VA to Knoxville. That's 6 1/2 hours worth of gasoline I have to posses, and so many dollars worth of money I have to have to purchase said 6 1/2 hours worth of gasoline to make the previously mentioned 6 1/2 hour drive without winding up gas-less on some God-forgotten street corner west of nowhere. I didn't think this was going to be a problem as I pretty much tour for gas money. I play shows to make enough gas money to get to the next city who can pay me enough gas money to get to the next, then the next, then the next, then the next. It's a revolving cycle. I don't need things for myself. I can live on a shoe-string; $200 is like $2500 and a cheeseburger is a New York Strip when you live in a truck-bed. Give me a box of poptarts and a Dr Pepper and I'm happy. Just keep me on the road. But sometimes the cycle stops. Sometimes things get fun and you get that awesome chance to actually live for awhile. It's usually the long-hauls that do it. You know, those trips from Cleveland to Philadelphia with nothing but a day off in between. In this case it was Manhattan to Virginia then Staunton to Knoxville that got me. It's a good 600 mile haul between each stop and I'd made enough for half of that. I had nothing left 150 miles outside of Knoxville and decided to drive until I either got there or stopped moving. Turns out it was a good idea as I ran out of gas in front of a hospital in downtown Knoxville - not far from where I needed to be. It was around 2:45am, I had a cool radio program scheduled for the next morning, and my phone said I was within 3 miles. Close enough for folk-travel. I was happy. I still can't believe I made it that far. I think I laughed for like 15 minutes straight at how well it worked out. Honestly, my gas light had come on about 35 miles prior and I expected a far heftier walk. 3 miles is nothing. I pushed my truck into the parking lot and went to bed. The next morning I walked to the station and made it in time to play an incredibly fun, on air acoustic set (in front of a live studio audience) and meet a killer bluegrass/rock band from Colorado. (you can check out our performances here: http://www.wdvx.com/programs/blueplate.html. Be sure to look up Old North State, great band and such cool guys). O.N.S. and I kept talking about how surprised we were by the number of people that came out for a 12pm show. The place was packed and everybody seemed super receptive. The show wrapped up and I still didn't have any money, so afterwards I walked downtown, played on the street a bit, sold some records and ended up hawking an old fender amp to get back on the road. Knoxville is super pretty and one of the coolest towns I've been to. Maybe I just like the excitement. 
By 3pm I was headed to Charlotte with a few hundred bucks, a cheeseburger and a sense of accomplishment. So much fun. I love this stuff. Honestly, I was bored. Things had been too smooth for a solo tour and I kept waiting for that "let's get resourceful" moment to kick in. I can't believe it took this long but I'm glad it finally happened. What a great time. Can't wait 'till it happens again. 

I pulled into Charlotte and the first thing I saw was a pink truck. What a great day. I think I'll play downtown awhile before the show. It'll be a small show tonight then I'm headed home for two days. It'll be cool to play in Nashville on Saturday and Sunday before leaving for Florida. Good crowds and good people. I can't wait to get to be back in Nashville and Florida. I think they'll be my favorite stops. My body is acting weird. I think I need to sleep or eat something decent. 
There are two fat high-school girls sitting across from me having a very intense conversation about restaurants they wish existed...oh, fat kids...


Tuesday, February 21, 2012

All Sail Away

The past assortment of shows has been an amazing experience. Cleveland, Youngstown, Pittsburgh, Gettysburg, Adams Morgan. I played Washington, DC to a sold out house of nearly 350 in a building with a 300 person capacity. It was cool to have more than 30 something people like the last couple nights have been. It was so confined and congested that the energy between the stage and the crowd was enough to tear one's eyes out. Such a great time. I played a 2 hour set with a 30 minute encore that finished one of the best shows I've ever played in my life. I don't think I've ever felt so in tuned to an audience as I was that night. The sound guy plays saxophone for a killer blues band and, after minimal coaxing, he played the back half of the show with me. The last hour plus was filled with the grittiest, toughest blues solos ever to grace the air. At one point we rode a 6-4-1 progression for 10 minutes while I stood on tables and walked throughout the room amidst the roars of brilliance flowing from the tenor horn on stage. Everybody knew the words by that point. I stood on a chair, leading a chanting chorus as the crowd screaming along to the lines "My My My a Man Can Not Deny - Depression Will Kill You Just As Fast As Dying!" for what seemed like hours. I never wanted it to end. It was one of those shows that's since played like a movie through my mind; flickering and jumping from scene to scene, song to song, face to face. I think I'll remember it for awhile.

My truck got broken into in Baltimore while I was sleeping in the back. I woke up and managed to scare the two away with a swinging baseball bat before anything was taken or seriously damaged. It's a good city. The next day, I asked if I could see a room at a local hotel and, as I had hoped, they gave me a key and told me I could go check it out. I went in the room, took a shower and then told the front desk attendant I wasn't interested in the room and left. Hygiene: maintained.

From there I headed north - a little quicker than usual - to Philly and then Manhattan. Both shows were pretty uneventful and nothing really exciting happened. Regardless, I love Philadelphia and can't wait to go back.
I did watch a police officer get run over in Manhattan. Some lady came flying through a light, knocked him under the car, rolled over him and continued driving until she made it across the intersection. Scariest thing I've ever seen in my life. This had either happened before or he slid right between the tires because he jumped up, staggered around for a second, then sprinted after her car. He screamed at her for awhile then let her go. I'm pretty sure anywhere else that's a criminal offense. Thank God for the tender, mild mannered, loving, police of New York City. Apart from a little blood, he seemed completely fine. Weird stuff.
I did get a chance to play Arlene's Grocery that night. That was cool, despite the fact that I don't think anyone cared I was there...and if they did it's because they were upset that they had to suffer through a whole set list. I think I'm becoming the number one thing New Yorkers are giving up for Lent. At one point, three guys (out of the 5 or 6 people there) were standing in front of the stage slapping their knees and doing mocking farm dances while yelling "Yeee-Haw!!!" and other such things. Eventually they told me I sucked and left. I was jealous that they got to leave before me. At least I'm leaving tonight. Jersey likes me better.

Overall, Baltimore was classy, Philly was boring, Newark was strangely clean, Manhattan hated me and I'm having the best time of my life. In response, I booked two more weeks of shows and question whether or not I'll ever return to Nashville...
God, I love living. 

Monday, February 20, 2012

Liberty For All


I was literally the only person at the Lincoln Memorial who wasn't black. I thought that was interesting.
I want a voice that transcends race and generations like that. 

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Bleed Your Throat Out

I left last week. Alone as usual; just me and my guitars. I like it that way. It's less stifling. It's amazing how difficult it is to keep someone on the road. Once the reality of sleeping in a car and living off potato chips kicks in they find some family emergency to declare and catch the first train back to nowhere. I like it better that way.
I made it to Indianapolis around 10pm in time to play for a room-full of angst filled locals. What a great city. Everybody was super col and everything was extremely frozen. There was a water fountain with a stream of ice protruding from it. It almost looked like a cartoon. I played for hours and sang until my throat was raw (vocal teachers cringe). What a great way to start off a trip. I can't wait to make it back and play the White Rabbit again.
6am rolled around and it was northbound and west to Chicago. I love this city. It may be the windy city, but to me it's the, "city that I've never had a bad time in and is awesome enough that it doesn't matter that it's windy" city. I am yet to visit without the police stopping me for some stupid reason or another. This time was no exception. I must have been there 15 minutes before I was stopped by two near-comedic looking officers, with affinities for bad sideburns and mustaches, and told to remove the number 3 from the side of my truck. They rambled a bit about gang involvement and other things while I spray painted over the small bit of individuality I possess. Before I was let go, they made me remove the bandana from my pocket and explained to me the dangers of being alone in a big city. They then told me to try to stay with my group and pointed out all the "safe and touristy" places I should visit before I went home. Home? We're standing on my front porch, Officer; and you just made me erase my address. How will anyone ever find me now? **I would like to take this moment to congratulate the Chicago District Police Force for their ever vigil eye and thorough awareness of gang-warfare**  I paraded around the city, through both the places I'd been warned about and the brighter side of youthful tourism. Reggies was a super cool place. Smaller crowd, but the show was a good time and I met a bunch of really cool people. I think one of my favorite parts of traveling is seeing other people's apartments before they have a chance to clean them up and offer a false representation. It's like I get to see how they actually live right up front; before the plasticity and efforts to impress begin. I like being a part of their culture and lifestyle that I've never experienced before. It's always interesting to walk in the door, followed by rains of apologies at the sate of the place (like I live in a mansion or something), look around and think, "Oh, so that's what 25 year old Boston residents keep on their mantles." We sat in Chicago, in a hot-tub on the roof, while the snow surrounded, showered by the lights of the city and watching the trains pass by beneath the shadow of the former Sears Tower. It was awesome. I was in a part of the city the police had warned me about; but there was a moose head on the wall so it didn't matter. The sun came up - it didn't matter either. It had been a good night and I had 6 hours to drive. I changed and bid everyone goodbye. I rarely dislike leaving somewhere, but this time I wanted another day. Columbus felt like my mother urging me home when I wanted to stay at a friends house a bit longer. Nevertheless, you can't ignore your mother...

Drive. I don't remember much of the drive to Columbus. Everything seemed a kind of blurry daze; whether it was because I was traveling so fast that I had begun to time travel or because I hadn't slept in 36 hours, I still haven't decided. Nevertheless, all I recall is traveling through tiny cities that looked like they'd been plucked from Norman Rockwell paintings and thrust into real life. I wanted to get out and touch them to verify whether  they were real or not. I stopped at a graveyard for a bit. I felt a sort of sombre calmness; like I was coming home. The snow covered the names and I had to dig a few headstones out from the snow to read the death dates. 3 hours. Black ice, minor collision. Set back. The truck was fine so it didn't matter. 9pm and I made it to Columbus to find a basement venue stuffed full of the most backward, cousin-loving, hillbillies I'd ever encountered. It made Kentucky look like Jane Austin while Columbus resembled Deliverance. I sat in the back, swimming through smoke, indifferent to the comedians and one man acts that played before me. I think my mind was still out west. I wanted to leave. I finally walked on stage, looked over the silent crowd and put on the best show I think I've ever performed in my life. I walked off and sat back stage awhile, listening to the roar coming from the crowd out front. I smiled, "was I really getting an encore at a dingy club in God-forsaken, Ohio?" I guess I appeal to inbred illiterates. That's comforting. I went back out and played awhile. Somebody bought me a jack and coke and spilled it all over the front of the stage trying to hand it to me mid song. Everyone was crazy...but everybody bought my record. It was 3am. I went to a local punk-house and, somehow, collapsed on the couch amidst the ruckus of an insanely crazy after-party. I'm not sure what all happened, but everybody left me alone and when I woke up, everything was broken, the door was wide open and there was snow all over the living room. I was happy to find that both my guitars and my body had managed to remain untouched. I confirmed such by walking across the room and back with no difficulty. I looked around but couldn't find anyone - so I left. As it turns out, a blizzard had come through the night before and the snow had created an intricate castle around my house-truck. What a pity to destroy such the beautiful work of art nature had provided, but it had to be done. It took a bit to dig the ol' home from the snow, but eventually we were free and hit the road for Cleveland. 

It had been 4 days since I'd taken a shower and, as I had two shows within an hour of each other, I decided to get a hotel outside the city. Was a horrible place Cleveland is. I felt the way Dorothy must have felt upon her return to Kansas from Oz. At one point, I even got a pamphlet of "Things to do in Cleveland". It literally said, "famous for our baseball stadium and large indoor shopping mall." Yay. I walked downtown. Nobody was on the streets and everything was closed by 6pm. Even McDonald's and Walmart weren't 24hrs. Columbus was the same way. What a crappy state. Anyway, I got to Wilbert's around 7p and met up with Jason and Polly (from the Punknecks). Mike made us the largest, most amazing burrito's I've ever had in my life. He made Chipotle look like they served fun size candy bars. Apparently nobody knew, or cared, that we were playing (they probably just assumed the venue closed at sundown like everything else). There must have been 15 people there. Maybe 25 if you count the kitchen staff and band members. Regardless, the show was lively and I got to test out a ton of new material. It was good to meet up with some of the Nashville crowd. *Be sure to check out Jason & the Punknecks and the Hillbilly Harlots when you get a chance (may be explicit). 
The venue was right beside the ballpark and I'd parked in the attached garage as instructed. However, I'd neglected to take into consideration that Cleveland runs on 1890's farmer time and goes to bed at 8p. I loaded up and drove around the garage a bit, only to find the doors pulled closed on every exit. 5 exits and no way out. What kind of parking garage locks cars in at only 1 in the morning? I looked at my ticket and it read, "NO EXIT AFTER 12AM ON WEEK DAYS. CALL 1-800-xxx-xxxx TO RETRIEVE VEHICLE AFTER HOURS. $250 CHARGE FOR AFTER HOURS VEHICLE RECOVERY." Seriously? I didn't mind sleeping in my truck, I just found it ironic that the first night I got a hotel I couldn't even stay there. I love this stuff.
The next morning I got back to my hotel, packed up my stuff and left for Pennsylvania. I might have made it 3 miles before breaking down. I guess Ohio's got a hold on me. I got the house fixed and made it to the venue on time. Hands down, flat-out, amazing show. I must have played just shy of 2 hours and had such a killer audience. It's cool to see people singing along to my songs. It's very weird to me. I wrote this song in the parking lot called "I Can Not Keep Silent" and felt like a preacher in an old-time tent revival singing it. Everybody was going crazy and kept calling me a modern Bob Dylan after the show. I've never had such a great response. One older lady claimed she was going to write an article about me, telling the greater Lake Eerie area that seeing me is the closest thing to seeing 25 year old Dylan. I don't know if she will or not, I don't really care, but just hearing her say that left me beaming...

Pittsburgh tomorrow. Then Philly and DC. I can't wait to meet up with the people there and play the North East again. It's going to be such a good time. 


"I Can Not Keep Silent"

Tell the business man religious leader who offers promises to come and rescue you
Only if you give your money to the hands of his campaign 
You'll be saved, you'll be saved, you'll be saved
Tell the ones who take your pennies just to pray...

Tell the cunning politician crocodiles 
Who say, "Your smile is quite becoming, dear, so come and stare awhile
at your beautiful reflection in this mirror called the Nile
I swear that I won't hurt you; I'll let no one ever hurt you
 I'm a man of grace and virtue and I'll never desert you
Can't you see the truth that lies behind my smile?"
Tell the cunning politician crocodiles...


That I can not keep silent. No, I can not keep silent
You can cut the tongue out of my mouth but I'll still write it down
For I can not keep silent. No, I will not keep silent

Tell the war-torn, zealous men of needless fighting
Always out looking for some new fight to fight in
Who subscribe to the belief that the world can not be free
Without the interference of some country over seas
And offer their protection to the side they want to see - win
And drop the bombs to roar like thunder and lightning 
Tell the war-torn, zealous men out always fighting...


That I can not keep silent. No, I can not keep silent
You can cut the tongue out of my mouth but I'll still write it down
For I can not keep silent. No, I will not keep silent

Tell the woman, men and children like you and me
Who stare each day in horror and disbelief
At everything that they despise happening right before their eyes
When will we start to realize that it's time to stand as one and rise
and recognize that we were born free
Tell the women, men and children like you and me...

That we can not keep silent. No, we can not keep silent
You can cut the tongues out of our mouths but we'll still write it down
For we will not keep silent. No we will not keep silent.
We can not keep silent. No, we will not keep silent


Saturday, February 4, 2012

Upcoming Tour Dates

Here is a list of my upcoming tour dates. Sorry for the delay.
Thanks, and can't wait to see you there! 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February
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Sat 2/11 - Indianapolis, IN
The White Rabbit
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Sunday 2/12 - Chicago, IL 
Reggie's Music Joint, doors @ 8pm
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Monday, 2/13 - Columbus, OH
The Distillery, doors @ 7pm 
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Tuesday, 2/14 - Cleveland, OH
Wilbert's, doors @ 7pm
With: Jason & the Punknecks
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Wednesday, 2/15 - Youngstown, OH
The Red Roof, doors @ 8pm
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Thursday, 2/16 - Pittsburgh, PA
Private Event
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Friday, 2/17 - Washington, DC
Madam's Organ, doors @ 6pm
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2/18 - Newark, NJ
Shuttle, doors @ 8pm
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Sunday, 2/19 - Manhattan, NY
Arlene's Grocery, doors @ 8pm
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Monday 2/20 - Philadelphia, PA
Private Radio Event
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Tuesday 2/21 - Washington, DC
The Velvet Lounge, 8pm
With: The Elephant's Gerald and Daniel Wolff
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Thursday 2/23 - Knoxville, TN
Blue Plate Special, 102.9fm WDVX, 12pm
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Friday 2/24 - Charlotte, NC
The Evening Muse, doors @ 8pm
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Saturday 2/25 - Antioch, TN
The Hall, Doors @ 8pm
Private Show
-------------------------------------

Sunday 2/26 - Nashville, TN
The End, doors @ 8pm
With: Nicole Boggs, The Golden Spurs & Zach White
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Tuesday 2/28 - Jacksonville, FL
Green Room Performance
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Wednesday 2/29 - Daytona, FL
The Disaster Show, 99.1fm WIKD, 6pm

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March:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Thursday 3/1 - Orlando, FL
The Haven, doors @ 7pm
With: Jaron Clark, Susana Cole, Chiaz Stone, & Nelson Vincent
-------------------------------------

Friday 3/2 - Ybor City, FL
The Collage, doors @ 8pm
With Special Guests: Zanesville & Brahm Bones
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Wednesday 3/7 - Atlanta, GA
The Variety Theatre, doors @ 6:30pm
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Friday 3/9 - San Antonio, TX
The White Rabbit, doors 8pm
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Saturday 3/10 - Austin Texas
The Green Room, doors @ 9pm

Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Renegade Marie

10 days. 10 days until I'm back to the abnormality I consider normal. Back to the stages and the footlights and the nights spent alone in a frozen truckbed some place west of nowhere. Back to bleeding throats and microphones and staying as connected with disconnection as possible. Back to making friends I'll never remember and cities I'll pray to forget. Back to that strange place where nobody really knows me and the lines between fact and fiction become tainted, blurred and pixilated. Back to ambiguous relevance. Back to normal.
Normal? Normal is the most broken thing I've ever encountered. I'm ecstatic.
              I wrote this story last night. One of those random tales full of piracy, scorn and sorrow. It's all about this child who, upon his mother's death, finds himself aboard a war-vessel named the Marie. Over time, it's proven that the boy is a talented warrior and passionate leader. As the ship seeks to purge the seas of villainy, the boy's confidence grows to pride and his arrogance leads to the brutal slaughter of those he's sent to capture. The furious Brigadier locks the boy away, in hope that by punishing his waywardness, he can build him into a man of character to one day take his place.
The plans are foiled, however, when the crew, impressed with the boy's brutal tendencies, free the lad and plot mutiny against their leader. Forcing the Brigadier into a chest, they feed him to the sea and turn the ship toward land in hope to gain the wealth they've long desired. Weeks pass and the boy turns the ship into a callous ruckus and the crew to a viscous band of marauding outsiders. Meanwhile, a chest - full of lifelessness - lies still, cold and soaked on a beach somewhere. It's morning there and a young child chases his dog down the shoreline and sees the discarded wreckage. Assuming the treasures it contains, the child rushes home and drags his father back to the coast. Breaking it open they find, not the jewels they expected, but the Brigadier - dripping and still - but, somehow, clinging desperately to life; praying only to stop the now Renegade Marie. Days pass and the captain recovers. Assembling a vagabond crew of tired vigilantes, he makes haste to stop the plight of his former assemblage.

                  Sails are seen on the horizon...

...Cannons are prepared....  

                               ...a malignant smile crosses the young captain's face...

       ....a prayer of vengeance falls through the Brigadier's lips...
 
...seconds feel like hours as generations                            prepare for the                                       long awaited final conflict...
         ...Silence...

            ...10-9-8...                             
                             ...7-6-5-4...
                                             ...3-2-1...                                                              
Everything goes hazy among the gunfire and blinding billows of  blackened smoke. Men flood the decks as blood runs like rivers through the cracks and dents in the wood. It's a bloodbath of murderous extravagance. Through the swords and the mire, the captains strain their eyes in search of one another. Swords crash and the cannons roar as the sky opens up and sends its own flurry of ammunition upon the scuffle. At last they meet, the old, tired captain and his his youthful mutineer. No words are spoken, but the beat of their pounding hearts strike envy to the soul of thunder. There is no fight; just a smile as the lad effortlessly strikes the old mariner to his knees and stands above him. A single blow and it's over. No climax. No over-drawn plea for life. Just mercilessness. The lad stares awhile then, leaving the body, returns to his room. The fighting stops - what's the purpose now? Silence. Everyone watches as the door to the captain's quarters closes and the blinds are drawn tightly shut. what happens now?  Eventually the crews separate and depart; gathering their dead as they sort through the senseless chaos.
Eventually, someone finds the courage to enter the young captain's room, only to see him there, silently sitting behind his desk - back to the door - facing the ocean beyond the window. "Should we throw him to the sea?" the man inquires. Silence. A nod. The door closes. Footsteps can be heard above. A brief pause, followed by the once fearless Brigadier dropping quickly past his murderer's window and into the ever grateful arms of the welcoming sea. What irony. The storm has calmed and the wind plays with the body a moment; sending papers from his pockets flying through the air before the waves at last consume him. Down the body sinks. Lifelessness to the abyss. The captain watches in fulfillment as the papers rise in the salty air and rest, sticking against his window. Small words here, a picture there. A picture? What familiar faces smile through his window? The boy leaps from his seat and rushes closer to confirm the horror he witnessed. What truth arrived un-welcomed - for staring through the window was the face he'd loved forever - the face of the mother he'd lost in youth. A rushing flood of tears fill his eyes as he clutches hopelessly at the glass in vain attempt to grab hold of the picture. He beats the panes and the room shakes with biting torment. He screams as a convicting flow of contrasting emotion engulfs him and collapses, crumbling in a heap upon the floor in exhausted misery; weeping at the awareness that by his arrogance he'd slain the very one who gave him life. From father to son, captain to captain, a ship passed through bloodlines and inherited by lines of blood upon the ocean floor. The reality overcomes him. Hours pass.
The picture leaves the window and the boy is left with nothing. A mere lad, dressed in the stolen garments of a murdered ship's captain, orphaned by his own resentment and left only with the riches of the sorrow he'd scornfully sewn...

Thursday, January 12, 2012

SING, SWEET BROKEN HEARTED - NEW RECORD IN STORES NOW!!!

I am pleased to announce that my new record, "Sing, Sweet Broken Hearted" is now available through iTunes/Amazon/Rhapsody/Zune/Spotify/i Heart Radio...and wherever else you want to try to find it.

Click on the link to get your copy today! -


Jordan Eastman - guitars, bass, piano, random percussion, harmonica, organ, mandolin, banjo, strings, dobro, washboard, slide guitar

Jaron Clark - Violin

Kalyn Eastman - BG Vocals on "You'll Find Love" and "Oh! My Soul"

Madiline - BG Vocals on "Sing, Sweet Broken Hearted"

All music and lyrics by: Jordan Eastman

All Songs Produced by: Nelson Vincent & Jordan Eastman
                                     Except "Hey Darlin'" and "Who I Am" produced by Dustin Spears

All songs mixed by: Nelson Vincent & Jordan Eastman
                                     Except "Hey Darlin'" and "Who I Am" produced by Dustin Spears

Mastering: Nelson Vincent

Special thanks to everyone who worked on the project!
Thanks for all of the support and check back soon for more info, tour dates, free downloads and more!
                                                                  - God Bless

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Someday Soon, When Trusting Doesn't Frighten Me...

Someday soon, when trusting doesn't frighten me
And memory feels no need to prove its vast existence 
I'll be free then. I'll believe then -
In love - as more than fear of loneliness before senescence
In truth - as more than myth to tame our hopeless adolescents
In hope - as more than pure deceit to deny our obsolescence
In faith - as more than crutch to hold through tender convalescence
What joy I'll have returned to me with each brokenness repaired
Such peace I'll feel when peacelessness has gone
I'll trust in love and hope in faith that truth will set me free
Someday soon, when trusting doesn't frighten me
When trusting, someday soon, no longer frightens me...

Monday, January 2, 2012

2012

It's a new year. It's another day. What makes the transition from 2011 to 2012 any different than the transition from Tuesday to Wednesday? What are resolutions but failed attempts to console one's self by swearing the future brings adjustment? Why not repair the flaws in July or April or the 3rd friday of October? A new year brings little more than an increase in alcohol sales and wastebaskets full of worthless calendars surrounded by the wrappings of their newly arrived replacements. Paper. Torn scraps of paper that count us past 364 to the one day where change becomes effortless and self-repair takes no struggle. This year's going to be different. No more cigarettes, learn to tango, re-plant that failed garden you started last August. It frightens me, the blindness to self-empowerment that the modern man possesses. Change occurs when ready; not when some squares of paper and self-pitying avowals command it to. The resolution is imperative; the concept is flawed.

We read Dickinson and Poe on the floor of my bedroom and talked effortlessly until the sun arose. We filled in the death dates of poets still living and helped the drunkards find their way home. We must have walked for miles, through endless paths of nothingness and neighborhood. Through streets where the houses had no driveways and the homes looked like movie sets. What vast, soulless dwellings they were. We welcomed the New Year each hour while the world caught up with Tennessee. It was a New Year in the mountains then; the mighty Pacific still awaited its celebration. Time passed and the coast caught up and the clouds blew by. Birds awoke and papers were delivered. The museums all were closed so we sat in my bed and talked about obscurities; hitting men with cats covered in glue and other methods of idiosyncratic assault came to mind. How does one react to that? Probably loudly, I'd assume. She left and the day went by. Blake and I moved things awhile as a disappointing season came to an end. Paint covers the wooden floor but the playoffs prove more intriguing every second. The years change and the hours pass. Nothing changes. Still the hours pass and nothing changes. Hours turn to days, days turn to months and months to years that turn again and nothing changes. I still haven't slept this year. See, nothing changes? Nevermore, never sure, never exactly correct. Time moves on and still, nothing changes...


  ...One day you're just barely coughin'...
       ....the next day you're laid in a coffin...
                     ...I know that that's a dark way...
                              ...to tell you that we can't wait...
                                     ...there's no time to waste anymore...



Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Sing, Sweet Broken Hearted - Available January 2012

Here's the new cover art and lyrics for my upcoming album. 
Be sure to pick up the new record "Sing, Sweet Broken Hearted" available January 2012 on iTunes/Amazon.
Until then, check out www.reverbnation.com/jordaneastmanmusic for a FREE download of "You'll Find Love" (feat. Kalyn Eastman/Jaron Clark), live tracks and alternate mixes of songs from the record.  
I've been working hard booking shows across the country so check back soon for a complete list of dates and tour information! Enjoy!




Hey Darlin'
In my heart there are walls higher than the trees
But no one knows, no one knows but me
Yet still you set me burning just like gasoline
But no one knows, no one knows but me

I don't have the words to tell you all these words are about you
But I want you to know that it's you that I'm dreaming of
But no one knows, no one knows but me

I've never been too good at that whole trusting thing
But no one knows, no one knows but me
Yet still you seem to find the very best in me
But no one knows, no one knows but me
(chorus)

Darlin' this whole city seems a constant uphill stream of endless motion
But girl you look so pretty so let's you and me go run out to the ocean - and never leave
Somewhere no one knows, no one knows but you and me
---------

You'll Find Love
He sold knives and rosaries by the riverbed
In a coat sewn by his mother dear, that still caused memories of tears to flood his head
But he wore it to recall the words she said. When she said;

You’ll find love one day, oh. You’ll find love
You’ll find love one day, oh you’ll find love

She was born to life atop a circus wire
Until a series of events with kerosene and unattended elephants transpired
And the circus was destroyed by means of fire
So splendid was his smile when she saw him there peddling his cutlery
Concealed by camouflage of trees she so anxiously stared
But through the branches he saw her beauty un-compared

She said:
I’ll find love one day, oh. I’ll find love
I’ll find love one day, oh I’ll find love

But then one night a note and knife stuck in her tree she found.
It read:

Angel of mystery,
If you want to see me, if you want to meet me than come down tonight
 to the waterside
We can dance in the moonlight until the morning breaks the night
But if you don’t want to then it’s quite alright
I’ll be alright; oh I’ll be just fine

So she put on her best gypsy gown and came down from the tree
To the sight of a crowd gathered ‘round the estuary

For tragedy that evening struck the humble town
The water-gates had finally cracked but carried safely on his back
He’d swam the orphans all to higher ground
But heroic deeds can lead to heroes drowned

She ran to his side as they dragged him from the waves
And oh, how she cried when the savior could not be saved
“He was my one and only love” she claimed

But I’ll find love one day, oh. I’ll find love
I’ll find love one day. Oh, I’ll fine love
Love, love, love, love, love I’ll find love

---------

Please, Don't Eat the Flowers
What would you do if I promised you the moon then gave you the world instead?
Would you laugh at the exchange or be angry because I changed my word and hang your crying head?
If I promised you flowers then brought you April showers that made the chrysanthemums bloom
Would you clap with delight at the change oh so slight or accuse me of lying to you?

If you want to find a better man
Go ahead and try if you can
Where are you gonna find a better man?
No one else can love you like I can
Not another one can understand
You’re never gonna find a better man

If I swore not to change the way I feel today but then fell more in love with you
Would you cry, cry, cry, cry and lie down and die and accuse me of being untrue?
 (chorus)

If you put down your knife and I put down my gun
Would we stop this fight and straight to arm in arm run?
Our hearts beat through our chest like pounding cannonballs
Yet still we both resist the urge that’s begging us to fall
We’re afraid to fall in love because we’ve watched love fall apart
So we change the combination to the safes around our hearts
Oh, how it hurts - trying oh so hard not to get hurt
---------

The Waiting
Oh, my mother, I was born only moments before
You died and they carried you away
Sent to walk alone for my father was unknown
Upon these streets will I walk and will I lay

Alone, alone and orphan on my own
Until the pale moon shines upon my grave

My mother I have tried to be your joy and pride
But failure comes naturally to me
All these sins I find passing before my eyes
I pray soon one day I’ll be redeemed

Alone, alone and orphan on my own
Until the pale moon shines upon my grave
Alone, alone just hollow flesh and bone
This world’s a waiting room for judgment day
hey hey hey - hey hey hey hey

But I’ll see the sunshine some morning
So I timidly smile because I know in awhile I’ll be free
So I’ll bloody my feet on this gravel where I walk and sleep - until then

Oh, my mother, you’ll be joined by a broken wounded boy
When the angels have carried me away
hey hey hey - hey hey hey hey
---------

Who I Am
Hold on, I hold on
To the prayer I’ll become the man I’m born to be
I’m the final leaf on a withered tree in a struggle to decide
Should I hold through the cold alone or conform and fall and die?

Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?
I’m trying oh, so hard to find who I should be
Do you know who I am? I’m begging, Mister, please.
Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?
If you know who I am can you tell me?

When did I become just some foreign currency
That’s valuable to someone somewhere – but here I’m worth nothing?
The most elegant of poetry in a language you can’t read
To the right eyes I’m beautiful but you don’t understand me

I’m an escalator broken down and in need of inspection
No up or down – I’m just stairs now - with ambiguous direction
A single card missing from a deck that leaves the whole game unenjoyed
It’s funny how just one thing can leave you void
 ---------

 Woman Bound
I was woman born; now I’m woman dead
‘Cus that woman came then that woman left
She set my heart to raging flame
That was then put out by my tears like rain

I go down, down in misery ‘cus that girl got a hold of me
I’ll drown, drown, drown in the raging sea until she’s gone away from memory

I was woman free; now I’m woman bound
‘Cus that same old woman came back around
I’ve begged her to go but she’s promised to stay
Leave that woman alone or you’ll become woman chained
(chorus) 
All alone I was lonely; but I’m begging for lonely right now
‘Cus that girl is looking so homely there in that wedding gown

I was woman born; now I’m woman dead
‘cus that woman came but she never left me
---------

Cigarette
Goodmorning, my dear
I’m so glad you found me here
Let me linger on your lips and take your breath away
You use me to get through; then claim I’m only killing you
Then the moment that you’re done with me you throw me in the drain

But oh, me, I see that you’re only using me
The moment that the flame is gone you’re gone without goodbye
But it’s so clear to see that you still depend on me
Even though you claim that I’m not even in your life

I’m your cigarette; see that you never will forget me
Even though you’ve burned me out to ashes
But who’s the weaker one; I’m not in need of anyone
And you cling to all my friends left in the package

Oh, like smoke through the air we were gone
We’re gone like smoke through the air
 ---------

Oh! My Soul
The hardened heart will break just like a stone being crushed
By the hammer of a slave on the old railway lines
The whore and the saint will both be judged as one that day
When the master, finally humbled, with his servants he has dined

Oh, my soul will be free one day
When my heart has asked for one more beat than God’s willing to pay
Then I, oh I, I’ll be carried away
And my flesh will not stay bone when I have been laid in my grave
No, my flesh will not stay bone when I have been laid in my grave

They hung tight a rope around the stealing man’s neck
Before he rocked like a cradle in the wind gently blowing
He said, “The atheist will burn in hell right there beside me
The only difference is that I know and believe that I’m going”
(chorus)
The borders all will fall just like a man being shot
In the back by the hand of the law for stealing bread
And the soldiers then will march at sweet Armageddon’s call
When the devil’s learned to pray and we’re all saved by the dead
(chorus)
---------

Some Kind of Dream
All these chances I take fly like a sparrow toward some kind of dream
But regrets and mistakes are a barrel pointed at me
There’s no mountain too high when you’ve learned how to fly
Just spread your wings and lift off the ground
But the problem with flying is; no matter how I try it ends with
READY! AIM! FIRE! - BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! - Shoot me down

But I searched through the streets just looking for some kind of dream
Always praying that I would find something or something would find me

A shot ripped through my heart and I fell through the branches and into the dark
But I was higher on the mountain than I’d ever fallen before
That’s where I met you, broken and bleeding, just a wandering dreamer like me
And when I looked at you, pretty darlin’, I finally could see

That I’d searched through the streets just looking for some kind of dream
Always praying I would find something or something would find me
I’d traveled the world looking for diamonds and pearls
But I found all I needed when I found a beautiful girl

There’s nothing so wonderful as finding your sweet peace of mind
 I’ve never seen beautiful the way that I see in your eyes
If I hadn’t been shot down learning to fly
I’d still be searching for something my fall helped me find
I thank God I was shot…
(chorus)
 ---------

Sing, Sweet Broken Hearted/The Declaration
It’s been the hardest year of my life so far
The surgeon hands of time still work to mend my heart
I died the day that I lost my wife
But somehow dying taught me how to be alive
I made bags of riches more than eyes have seen
That served as temporary peace in a world of shattered dreams
But as fast as they were given they were taken back from me
But I found peace in misery

Swing low, sweet chariot
Come down and carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Oh Lord, I’m so tired of being alone…

I searched to find solution but it seemed
That every weary path was wrong
I slept in cars in graveyards and parking lots for months
Never before had lonely hit so strong
But in my darkest time of need, Oh Lord, you forced me to see
That even through the blackness, the pain and the fear
You’d been hanging on to me
So I sang it, I sang it, I sang –

Swing low, sweet chariot
Come down and carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Oh Lord, I’m so tired of being alone…

I’m broken but I’m not broken down
I’m torn but I’m not torn apart
I’m shattered now but I can still stand
You can never break an already broken heart
(chorus)

I’m not broken anymore my love
I guess I’m stronger than you thought I was
I’m not torn, I’m not crushed – I’m something beautiful…



All songs copyright © 2011 Jordan Eastman Music and property of Jordan Eastman music and Soundwire Records
 They may not be distributed or altered in any way without the artist's permission


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Black

Love? What is love? Love eternal, on the other hand...well, can love last eternally? Love only lasts as long as one allows it to remain; and to remain eternal is another thing entirely. We fall in love in an instant and fall out of love in the same. Like a flicker it's past and we're off in search of some new flame to kindle our smoldering desire for passionate amity. This time of year people become foreign and Christmas dissects their emotions to reveal the hidden depression or undisclosed affection buried within their hearts. We either cling to each other or wind up remembering the people we no longer cling to.
It's the time of year people either get married or commit suicide; sometimes both. It's kind of liberating.

I keep watching everyone else fall apart and it makes me happy knowing that I fell apart first. It's a horrible game to have won, but a victory nonetheless. It's been a balanced scale of passion and misery, where for every wedding band there lies unfaithfulness, and for each engagement photo taken, another's photo album is thrown in the fire to be forgotten...and somehow I've found myself in the middle of all this trying to make sense of it all. Apparently my affinity for relational collapse comes as a strange form of solace for most, as I perpetually find myself taking the position of counselor; a strange calling for someone with such a strong sense of calloused apathy to be given. Regardless, it's left me thinking and makes me remember why closeness often frightens me. At least in its initial stages. Growing up sucks. I've thought a lot about that too, actually. I grew up once. It nearly killed me. Maybe the whole thing was wrong. You've grown up and turned into this beautiful woman; you may be throwing your whole life away by doing so, but hey, at least you'll look pretty during the transition; while I, miserable I, remain desperately clinging to the same boyish youthfulness and child-like fantasies of yesterday. I keep chasing things that you claim to support me in from the comfort of your quaint two bedroom condominium in the darling suburbs. I guess I just grew up differently. Maybe we never grew up at all.

All of these things run through my head. I sit here awhile while I try to sort them out and make sense of everyone else's destruction. A message from an old girlfriend comes in and I realize, for the first time, that we're all in the same situation. I disregard the flirting comments and pretend to be oblivious to her obvious attempts to hook up. We talk awhile. Say goodnight and it's over. Hopefully forever. I kind of laugh a little. It's grey outside now. I guess it's finally Christmas; the time of year when everybody's looking for somebody and nobody wants to be the somebody nobody else is looking for. I'm glad I'm alone. Maybe things are easier that way. Maybe things have been perfect all along...

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

What's it Take to Get Smile Around Here?

The last few days have been strange for me. I bought a hat. Think of that. A blog post about a trapper cap. It's kind of stupid looking but it's warm and keeps my ears from freezing - the hat, that is. The blog looks relatively normal and doesn't keep me warm at all...
It snowed a bit tonight. That's foreign to me. It wasn't much, just enough to make me realize it's supposed to be Christmas and for the second year in a row I don't care. I just want to leave again. I like leaving. It means I'll soon be somewhere else. Somewhere that isn't where I was before. Anywhere, really.

I set my hair on fire today. There's something weird but not entirely surprising. True story. I stuck my hand in my pocket and found a lighter. Why it was there, I'm not sure; but it was there all the same. I was talking to someone about lighting my hair on fire and it just sort of happened. I don't need to cut my bangs, I guess. It's amazing how quickly hair burns. I'm not sure how Nero tolerated the smell.

On a relatively normal note, I've been booking US tour dates non-stop for the last several weeks. We'll be gone around month straight. Two days off. It's ironic that I decided to book shows in the north-east during the coldest time of the year. We're working our way from Chicago to Manhattan in the middle of February. How stupid. Only vikings plan trips that way. At least we'll be making our way down the east coast and into Texas by the end of March. I'm really excited to be on the road again. It's been too long. Not to mention this time I'm not playing for anyone else. Look at that, I did my own thing. Who'd have ever thought...
We're playing some fantastic places I haven't been in years, and some cities I've never performed in. I'm excited to play in New York and Philly. Both great cities with awesome crowds. Overall, I think it's going to be a good time...but I'll post more on that as things progress. 

So there's this record I've been working on...
Record comes out soon! I'm going to post the lyrics for the whole album, cover art and release date information in the next week or so...so keep a look out!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

We Tired and Shameless Few

Life is a war in which we fight to the death, glance back from our hospital beds and applaud whoever has accomplished the most. Like a photograph, it flashes, we pause, then look back at the still-frame in mocking agony of what used to be. Why is success placed before living? Why view life as an opportunity to become something rather than an opportunity to experience? Yet here we are, stuck in relationships we want out of, working jobs we want to escape and bound by the assumption that risk is the potential invitation of failure. It's easy, I guess. People tell me far too often that they wish they could do things when, in reality, if they simply did them their desires would come to fruition. Is it fear or just the love of simplicity? Things are easiest when they're familiar. People do things all the time because coping with consistency is easier than the discomfort of change...even if change is the remedy to their affliction. I understand responsibility and respect success, but to place it before enjoying life seems sinfully flawed. It's easy to talk of aspirations from a recliner - but another thing entirely to bleed-out, striving to obtain those aspirations and use the recliner to tell the story of your success some day in the future. It bothers me. Sure there are subtle, underlying frustrations streaming through this entire dissertation; but regardless, the point stands true. Whatever. I'm tired of it. What purpose does a rant serve besides self-gratification anyway? Rants are like humanity in winter. We start warm and conversational, sitting by a fire, maybe. It's safe here. The walls protect us from the elements of the caloused world outside. Conversation changes and, somehow, the topic deepens. Someone gets upset. Their stiffened ego was injured. Voices rise and we step outside into the cold. Grumbling a bit we might take a few steps. The stairs are slippery. We're cautious. Eventually, we find the freezing obnoxiousness of the whole situation taking it's tole and we, who once stood upright and fought for our God-given opinions, now look tired and old; hunched over, arms clenched tightly about ourselves like defenseless children. It's too cold to argue. Nothing really matters anyway. The harsh stinging of everything combined becomes too much to bear and we forget whatever it was that started this whole thing in the first place. We cough a little. It's freezing. We make our way back through the door and rush to the warming arms of the welcoming fire. The others soon follow and we all laugh at the silliness of the whole situation. Soon our cheeks are reddened by the glow and all is forgotten. It's over now; but a while will pass and the whole thing will repeat itself. Pointless. What is the point? There is no point. It's all a bunch of pointless pointlessness. Sometimes the pointlessness seems more convincing than others. That's just good salesmanship; but it remains pointless nonetheless. It's like a big vat where everyone tosses in their opinions, we sort them out one by one until we all agree, but by the time we've reached where we started the opinions have all changed and the whole thing starts over. Pointlessness. What is pointlessness anyway? Why don't we just call it trainwreck? Trainwreck. The whole pointless thing is a stupid trainwreck and nothing makes sense anymore. Who's writing this whole thing, anyway? Take the pieces, one at a time. Inspect them. Twist them. Mold them. Force them into little shapes and make them fit back together until you find the original thought behind the whole stupid thing. I bet your thoughts on the original thought are different than you originally thought they were. It's cruel, isn't it. No one knows anything yet we all know everything. A strange paradox of the wisdom of fools. A viscous labyrinth of time. We work to support our reproductions, reproduce to create more hands to work and work at reproduction like it's last good thing the good Lord left behind...

What does any of this matter...they're just words anyway. I could say, "Panda bear, fruit dance, bubble gum, rainbows" with any sense of conviction and some rambling idiot would call me genius. It's a travesty. A perverse, all forsaken travesty...

In the end,I'll leave it all alone...

“When did your childhood end? How badly did you get hurt, when you did, when you were this little wee little hurtable thing, nothing but big eyes, a heart, a few hundred words? Isn’t it wonderful how we never recover? Injuries and wounds, ladies and gents. Slights and abuses, oh, what a paradise. Living in fear, suiting the hurt to our need. What a happy life. What a good game. Who can stand the most, the most life, and still smile, still grin into the coming night and say more, more, encore, encore, you fates, just give me more, more, more of the bloody bloody same.”  - Will Eno

Monday, December 5, 2011

Tazing a Drunken Isaac Newton: Pt II

For those of you who have not read Part I of this adventure, please visit http://iwokeupinavan.blogspot.com/2011/11/tazing-drunken-isaac-newton.html before continuing

For those who have, there are new developments in the story....

As you know, after screaming frantically while attempting to beat down the door, the police arrived and the drunken assailant took off at a dead run in the opposite direction. At this point, there was a 5-10 minute segment where the police where wandering about looking for the man before he came sprinting out of someone's backyard and across our complex parking lot. During this lull, we became the closest of friends with the drunk group of people who were being attacked by the Running-Man. In fact, we became so close that Blake and I will be standing in one of their weddings. Mark your calendars.

Anyway, after running into one of the fine women who, ironically enough, was returning from the court-case pertaining to this event, I was given the full details of what happened during those seemingly uneventful minutes of the Running-Man's absence...

...they go a little like this...

As it turns out, he really was a professional fighter. Go figure. This discovery was made after several police had arrived and were searching the surrounding areas for his whereabouts. While we were standing there, wondering where he'd run, the police had chased him into a backyard and were attempting to apprehend him; at which point brother went to town beating down police officers and trying to escape until he was tazed - for the first time. After being stunned, he ran from the backyard and toward our complex - and was quickly tazed again. This time he reacted by throwing a police officer into a chain-link fence. In response, a second officer threw Running-Man into a fence and proceeded to taze him again - several times - resulting in the viscous screams we heard from the parking lot. While attempting to walk him back, homeboy took off again, ran through our complex, back into our line of sight and the rest, as you know, is flat-out, downright amazing, history at its finest.

And that, my friends, is an amazing story.